Stevon, a colorful character who it seems never meets a stranger, simply asked me how I was doing. My answer resulted in a 3-hour conversation and a traveling companion as we traveled together from Trader Joe’s to Wal-Mart. After listening intently to his life story of fighting in 4 wars, his Morphine addiction and the alcoholism that keeps him homeless, I asked him if I could pull out my pocket camera. (I carry it everywhere I go. I never know when I’ll find a great story. This day brought me two). He said “Yes,” and he continued to tell me about his first kill in Vietnam – and how it has affected his life.
Stevon asked me to shut off the camera. He couldn’t go any further. He said it hurts to talk about his life – and it hurts even more to hear others talk about war. “I flip out,” he said.
During our time together, Stevon gave me several survival tips – from taking the stems from pine trees and boiling them for a tea taste – to using a bell to ward off bears in the woods. He even showed me the illegal apparatus he uses to cook with when he’s in the jungle.
Stevon is homeless – by choice if it could be. He said he goes crazy inside of houses and buildings because he feels the people he’s killed and warred against are coming after him. So, he’d rather live outdoors where he’s safer, in the ‘jungle’. He lays his head wherever he happens to be when he’s tired.
The two bottles of government issued Morphine helps keep his pain to a minimum, but it also keeps him addicted. The alcohol helps to keep away the demons that haunt his every waking hour. Without them, “I feel like my world is closing in on me. I go crazy,” he said. So, addiction is the lesser of two evils for Stevon. The pain of this life is too much to bear – so he checks out with Morphine and alcohol.
When he handed me a $20 bill and asked me to purchase four bottles of beer for him because they might not sell to him if they smelled the alcohol, I hesitated – thinking – ‘Do I contribute to his alcoholism by buying him beer?’ Then I thought ‘Or am I contributing to him being able to go one more day through his life – without the emotional and physical pain that could kill him and if not sedated, possibly kill others as well.’
When Stevon first told me about the government issued Morphine, I thought to my self, ‘shame on the our government.’ But when asked to buy the beer, I understood the government’s position.
Stevon is an amazing testament to humanity. He insisted that he buy me a pair of gloves - which I refused. During our travel, he asked several people if they knew where a vegetarian restaurant was because he wanted to buy me lunch. Finally, not being able to refuse his insistent offers of kindness, I accepted an early Christmas gift he bought for me. It is a beautiful green ceramic dolphin in a decorative green card board box. It is a gift I will cherish. I think I’ll buy several of them and gift them to others in honor of Stevon.
During our time together, others listened in as Stevon shared his story. One man said to me, “All that glitters is not gold.” He was saying that I shouldn’t believe everything I hear on the streets of Tacoma. But, regardless of the truth of Stevon’s story, there is no doubting or refuting the hell he lives in daily inside of his mind. When you see such pain, the cause becomes secondary. Only the humanity of the moment shows through.
While Stevon looked for a new pair of shoes to brave the Washington State weather, I pushed my basket through Wal-Mart. As I walked past a man sitting on a push cart, he looked at me and gently put his hand on my basket. He didn’t address me immediately; he only stopped my basket and continued to talk to the Wal-Mart employee. Without saying a word to me, he was inviting me to listen in to the conversation. I don’t know why he chose me to listen. I guess the Universe was providing me another opportunity to do what I love – to allow people to heal by sharing their stories. After a couple of sentences, I asked Jim if I could pull out my camera. “Sure” he said.
Why the Universe chose to connect me to two veterans with amazing stories is yet to be revealed. But nothing happens in my life – nor anyone’s – by accident. It’s all purposed.
Thanks Stevon and Jim for spending time out of your day to show me the face of God. I can only hope my light shines as bright as yours and my life can be used to contribute to my Country and the world as yours has.
Love Deborah
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